Why Working Harder Isn’t Working: The Three Clarities You Actually Need

 In this episode of Overnight Wisdom, Chisom Udeze reflects on the questions many women and leaders are asking right now: What does it really take to progress? How do you build a company without burning out? And how do you stay grounded in who you are while navigating systems that weren’t designed for you?

Drawing on her Three Clarities framework — Identity, Context, and Power, Chisom unpacks the strategic realities behind ambition and advancement. She explores why merit alone is rarely enough, why understanding the terrain of the systems we operate in matters, and how influence, sponsorship, and positioning shape opportunity.

This episode is both practical and reflective. Chisom shares insights on negotiating your worth, documenting your wins, building businesses with clarity rather than ego, and making decisions between “good enough” and perfection without losing momentum. She also speaks candidly about burnout, financial discipline, emotional regulation, and the importance of knowing when to stay, when to adapt, and when to walk away.

At its core, this conversation is about one question: Who are you, and what will you refuse to dilute for access?

Whether you are a founder, a leader, or someone navigating complex systems while pushing for progress, this episode offers a grounded perspective on how clarity becomes both strategy and survival. 

Transcript

0:02

I've been getting questions about career progression, entrepreneurship, leadership, and how to actually move forward when systems around you weren't designed to let you through. And because it's Women's History Month, happy Women's History Month. I want to address these questions directly. For women who are pushing for progress, for anyone navigating ambition inside structural systems that demand you shrink. Here's what I know. Most people believe progression is about working harder, being better, proving you deserve it. But progression is really about being the best worker in the room. It's about being the best positioned and positioning requires clarity. So today I'm using the three clarities framework, which is essentially the lens I use to do everything. I'm here to find a situation that I can't apply it to. It's a lens that I use to make sense of leadership, of power, of growth, of parenting, of how I exist in the world. It's also a lens that I've used to support organizations and leaders across the world. So we're looking at identity clarity, knowing who you are and what you will not dilute to belong. Context clarity, understanding the systems you're operating in and what they actually reward or punish. Power clarity means recognizing how influence, access, and opportunity actually move. I'll answer some of the questions that you've been asking. And those questions are, what advice would I give to women pushing for progress? what should founders know before they start? What lessons still shape my career? ah How can we and you decide between good enough and perfect? and what are some life skills that make a significant difference in our lives? I have many, but I share two this segment is not motivational. It is structural because if you don't understand identity, context, and power, you keep working hard in systems that weren't built to reward you. and I want you to stop doing that. So yeah, let's get into it it. I want to get through some of the questions that have come in for me. And I think it's proper for Women's History Month to share some of my reflections and perhaps a little bit of advice based on what has worked for me knowing fully well that this does not necessarily have to work for every single person. So take from it what you will. The first question I want to address is, for women pushing for progress and really I think for anyone pushing for progress. What is my number one advice? Using my three clarities framework, which is identity clarity, context clarity, and power clarity. What I reflect on is identity clarity, who am I and what will I not dilute for access? So if I have to put this back to you. The question you need to reflect on is you need to know who you are and what you will not dilute for access. And then we get to context clarity. You have to understand the terrain in which you exist in. You have to be able to recognize, is this an environment that rewards competence or is it one that rewards visibility? Oftentimes in workplaces, in spaces we were trying to advance in our careers or in the work that we do, We need to be able to map appropriately what is going to be effective and what is not. You also have to explore whether your environment rewards loyalty or does it reward results. Different environments reward different things and at the same time they could reward multiple things. So you need to be able to adapt strategically but not apologetically. And then when we look at power clarity, you also have to be able to reflect on the fact that you cannot only rely on merits. People were not necessarily going to see your work. When I was coming up in my life, I always thought, I'm just going to do the work and people will see it. And also starting to understand that I have to talk about my work. I have to put my work out. I need to pump my work up in all the good ways. So my merits, your merits is not enough. You need to be able to relationships, not transactional relationship. You need to be able to meaningful, nurturing, beneficial, mutually beneficial relationships. You need to also be able to secure sponsors, not just mentors. Oftentimes people, I think especially when you're women, when you are an immigrant, when you are marginalized in some sense, there are a lot of opportunities for mentorship, but not enough spaces for sponsorship or being championed into rooms or into roles that can actually elevate you in your career. when looking at it from a power clarity context, you need to secure sponsors. And you need to be able to document your own wins Yeah. Like for the longest time in my career, which is because I think I personally also have just a challenge with, you know, talking about, look at me go, look how amazing I am. had to unlearn. I'm still unlearning that I don't need to talk about my wins So we need to document our own wins If you have built something, talk about it. If you've done something, it doesn't even have to be absolute because oftentimes I think we think we need to like end climate change before we celebrate the wins that we have, but we don't have to do that. So talk about your wins. When it comes to negotiation, negotiate early and negotiate well. The worst anyone can say to you is no, we don't like... that amount of money, maybe you lose the opportunity, but oftentimes you don't. You can negotiate for projects, for work, for what you are paid and ask directly. There's no need beating around the bush from a power clarity perspective. You need to be able to say, this is what I need. This is what my work is worth. Let's talk about it. I want to say one more thing that might be uncomfortable. Do not confuse overperformance with leverage. Being indispensable is not the same as being promotable. It's not the same as You know, being championed into room stages or positions that actually are beneficial for you while leveraging the valuable skills that you bring to the table. So do not confuse overperformance with leverage. Progression is rarely about being the best worker in the room. It's always about being the best positioned And keep in mind that if the system is unwilling to evolve, then your clarity must also include the courage to leave it. You know, and it's important to know that this is not defeat - but a strategy. because if you're in a space that will not water you, that will not nourish you, then you really have no business being in that space. Now I know living might take longer for others. for some than others, depending on your life situation, but understand and start creating a strategy around what does it take to go somewhere else where I am valued. Another question I was asked is what is my top advice for aspiring women founders or women founders or women leaders? and perhaps I'll just talk about being a woman founder. I guess the first thing that's coming up for me is do not build a business, build power with clarity. know, establishing a company is not romantic. It's very structural. It's psychological, it's deeply political, how you show up, how you work, who you work with, topics you engage in, how you communicate about your work. So it's important to start with identity clarity. be able to understand why you're building this. Is it ego? Is it escape? Is it for impact? Is it because you want more autonomy? Is it because you want wealth? Is it all of the above? It's important to understand what your real driver is because if you do not know what your real driver is, the market will eventually expose it. Entrepreneurship will amplify whatever is unresolved in you. That is a fact. So it's important to continue to know who you are before you scale what you are and as you build who you are might evolve. Then context clarity. So you have to be able to see what markets are you entering, what controls, uh capital movements, customers, purchases within the ecosystem in which you're in. You need to look at things like what biases exist in funding, in growth, in hiring, in partnerships, and is your specific space where somebody like you can do well, can challenge, can disrupt, then you have to think about what type of product am I building to address the specific context that I'm in or to navigate the context that I'm in because you have to think about wherever you are, system structures, markets, countries as a structure. It's important when you think about context clarity to not personalize structural friction. You know, you have to study it, you have to anticipate it, and then you have to design around it. And then when thinking about power clarity, what does it take to actually view the successful business? I think it's important to be able to clarify who has decision-making authority over your growth, who writes the checks, who opens the doors, what partnerships are pivotal. for your scale who advocates for you when you're not in the room i think especially when it comes to women many women over index on their competence and on that index on their leverage so again as i said previously build sponsors not just people who support you it's also important to understand your equity so if you have for example a stock company limited liability company If you have investors, you have partners, understand, and I would always recommend, hold on to your equity until you actually know what you have, when you can. So understand equity before you give it away. Understand cash flow before you chase visibility. You know, you don't have to make the same mistakes a lot of founders make. You can also learn from founder stories. You know, what did they get right? What did they get wrong? And I think as well that it's important to understand ownership before the clout of recognition, because those will help you go a long way. So financing, cashflow, those are very important things. And if you're bringing, say, an entrepreneurial mindset into an organization, say you're not starting your own company, the same premise and thought processes also applies. Entrepreneurial thinking without institutional power is just extra labour So make sure innovation is tied to recognition, to compensation and to advancements. One more thing, I think, especially for people who are looking to thrive and do well, be it in their own business or in workplaces in which they exist in. Oftentimes it's easy to confuse exhaustion with ambition. Burnout is not a badge of honor. There's a reason why a lot of people, high performers continue to burn out as well as founders continue to burn out. It is not a badge of honor, sustainability is strategy So think about the long game. How do you preserve your energy? And if you find yourself on a burnout journey, how do you pause, take a step back and reflect and then engage differently? Being a valuable member of a workplace or founding a company is not about just proving that you can survive. It's about designing something that does not consume you. Clarity, identity, context and power clarity. in many ways is survival. a third question I got is what is a lesson I have learned that still shapes my career today? And the first thing that comes to mind for me is do not ask for permission to exist at scale. Whatever scale means to you, whatever existence means to you, do not ask for permission, especially if you, a woman, especially if you were racialized, and especially if you're Black. No one is coming to validate your ambition in spaces not designed for you. If you wait for consensus, for comfort, for endorsement, you will shrink before you start. What I've also learned is that oftentimes people have a version of the story about us that they want to tell. And if you don't have that story, oftentimes you are not helpable. Another lesson that shapes my life today is knowing my worth. So for you listening, know your worth beyond the script that other people have built in your head for you or about you. And know yourself beyond the scripts that makes other people comfortable. Knowing what you bring to the table is important. It could be your intellect, it could be your capital, it could be your cultural fluency. It could be your strategic thinking. It could be your lived experience. It could be a combination of all of these things. It's important to not hit, continue to hit your head against walls that were never meant to open for you. Sometimes stepping up means stepping away and sometimes it means building your own door. and as for one way to step up, or to support women. So if you're listening to this and thinking, my gosh, how do I support, you know, people? How do I sponsor more people? I want to talk about women because it's Women's History Month in March, 2026. One way is to sponsor them publicly, strategically and repeatedly. Not just when they're exceptional, not just when it's convenient, not just when they fit the aesthetic of what feels safe. And if you have power, it's important to interrupt the savior narrative. Women are not here to be saved. Women have so much to bring to the table. So highlight women for their competence, not their tragedy. We do not need more inspirational stories, although those are nice. We need more structural shifts. And that always begins with having clarity about who we are, where we are, and what we can actually influence. someone also posed the question around what are some life skills that might be boring, but they change everything. So I'm gonna share two. I live by many life skills. The first one I wanna share is pay yourself first. I think it's important to save before you spend, automate savings. It could be something as small as, you know, automating that on the first of every month or the 25th of every month, whenever your salary comes in, that a hundred euros, a hundred kronas, $10 automatically leaves your account and goes into a savings account, for example. When you've saved enough, I think even as little as a hundred dollars, a hundred euros, a thousand kronas, depending on where you are. you can actually then start investing that money into funds And oftentimes your banks provide that function. I often think about those little savings that I don't notice almost as throwaway money. I know there's a privilege in being able to call money throwaway money, but I often operate on the basis that You know, it's kind of like, you know, if you have a project deadline and you have 10 hours, you might use 10 hours to complete that project. If you have four hours for the same project, you will use four hours for that project. I'm not trying to simplify your flatten challenges that people have with money, but when you get to a point where you can audit what you spend, how you spend it. Um, and you can save 10, you know, euros or $20 there or, uh, 2000 Kroners there. You can actually start saving that money towards your future to provide some financial stability. Actually, a really great podcast to listen to is A couple of weeks ago, I had Ken and Mary, who were talking about financial freedom, financial joy, and they have some really great advice in there for saving. But yeah, it's important to build margin. I think most people don't lose because they earn too little. I think they lose because they spend first and hope that the discipline of saving and eventually investing will appear later. It really does. And also it's important to stop buying things you don't need to impress people who aren't thinking about you. So I often reflect on that as well. How do I pay myself first? How do I conserve my money? And if I really need to buy something, do I really need to buy that thing? I mean, of course, there are always like the guilty pleasures where I just want it because I want it. But those are rare and far in between. Another life skill that is incredibly meaningful to me is installing a pause button. know, unless a situation is life threatening, your reaction does not need to be immediate. You know, I think it's important to treat your response like though it's a light switch. You know, you have, are able to turn it off. You're able to say pause, then step back. I think as well, even when you have reacted. The worst thing is to keep reacting. So even when you've reacted in a way that you're not sure that is this my reaction or am I spontaneously, you know, just lashing out or saying the first thing that comes to mind without having circumspectly considered all the different sides. you can still take a step back. And when you've reflected, you can come back and engage differently. I think a lot of damage that happens in careers and relationships and communication comes from unmanaged reactions, not necessarily bad intentions. So in terms of life skills that I hold onto, I mean, I have a lot more, but this will come to mind. financial discipline and emotional regulation. And it's an ongoing thing. It's an ongoing process. You never quite arrive. There's always something you can do better at. So these two things, they are boring, they are rare, and they are incredibly powerful. And then finally, I want to talk about a really great question as well that I got, is, how do you decide when good enough is better than perfect? be it for yourself or for your team. and of course I'm going to do this using my three clarities framework. I personally decide on good enough and perfect by anchoring myself back. to my identity, my context, and my power. First, identity clarity. Reflect on who are we trying to be here? Are we building something that requires excellence and precision? Are we building something that requires speed and iteration? Because if perfection is only serving the ego rather than impact, it's a distraction. So what exactly am I trying to build? What is needed here? And who am I trying to be here? From a context perspective, I often reflect on what does this moment require? Does this moment require good enough? Does it require perfection and why? It's important to be able to reflect on the fact that some decisions are reversible. Some decisions are not. If the cost of delay is higher than the cost of imperfection, then good enough is not only the best, choice it is also the responsible choice. But if stakes are high, reputational, ethical, or even safety related, then rigor matters more than speed. sector though I can think about is healthcare, you don't want to rush that. Okay and the third in terms of how do I think of what's good enough versus what's perfect using uh, power clarity. is being able to reflect on where does my decision actually sit. Leaders often slow teams down because they hold on too tightly to control. If the team has expertise and the guardrails and the expectations are clear, then the best use of power is to let them move, to let them actually take action. Perfection can easily become a bottleneck. when it concentrates authority in one person. So what I often ask myself is, So really the question is rarely about is this perfect? Because rarely anything is perfect in a sense. Something can always be better, that it is perfect today. Does not necessarily mean that you look at it tomorrow and not go, yeah, I wanna tweak that. There's always something you can improve. So the question is rarely about perfection. Real question I try to ask is, does this move the work forward with integrity and clarity? Progress, like finance, compounds, right? So it's better to put one foot in front of the other showing consistent results than being paralyzed by the idea of perfection. So yes. Progress compounds and perfection often delays progress. So yes, that is the, I think four questions I wanted to engage in this solo episode. In general, I do also wanna say Happy Women's History Month. I think it's important this month to amplify and celebrate all kinds of women, know, black and white and... South Asian and East Asian and Indigenous and Latina and women are fat and skinny and you know, they're short and tall. are disabled. They are queer. We need to show up for all kinds of women, not just women who fit, a certain frame or aesthetics that we have in mind. I think it's important to reflect on if you're a woman, how do I celebrate and champion other women? If you are a man or gender diverse, how do I show up for the women in my life? Like most things in the world, we tend to celebrate them in a period of time and then move on. Women are still valuable outside of March. So how do we continue to show up for them? in the other months in the rest of the year. Well yeah this is the chat today. Thanks for being here and see you next week. That's this week's Overnight Wisdom. If this conversation hit home, you're not alone. Thousands of emerging leaders, leaders, and people are doing the same work, figuring out who they actually are instead of who they think they should be. Subscribe for new episodes every Wednesday. And join the conversation. What's one thing from today you're taking with you? Thanks for listening. I'm Chisom Udeze