Why Most Goals Fail — And How the Three Clarities Framework™ Can Fix That

In this solo episode, Chisom Udeze shares a powerful extension of her leadership framework — The Three Clarities™: Identity Clarity, Context Clarity, and Power Clarity. After over a decade of working with leaders and organizations across the world, she reveals why most goals fail — not for lack of ambition, but for lack of clarity.

Using real-life scenarios, including what it means to launch a product-based company like Chiije, Chisom breaks down how these three forms of clarity shape not just our leadership, but our habits, boundaries, and resilience.

Whether you’re planning your next career move, setting intentions for the new year, or simply trying to move something forward in your life — this episode will sharpen your lens and help you align your energy with what actually matters.

Tune in to learn how clarity creates direction, coherence, and sustainable power. 

Transcript

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Welcome to Overnight Wisdom, a show where we sit with changemakers, artists, business leaders, and thinkers. Each conversation is an invitation to slow down, to go deeper, and unearth the quiet insights that shape who we are. If you're seeking honest reflections, unexpected wisdom, and a deeper understanding of what it takes to not merely survive, but to thrive. You're in the right place. Welcome to another solo and mini episode of Overnight Wisdom. Today, I want to talk a little bit more about my framework which I've developed over the past decade. And it's looking at identity clarity, context clarity, and power clarity. Last week, for the first time, I shared publicly about... this framework and what I did not expect was all the questions I got from friends, from colleagues, from just random people on the internet in the different places where I shared about the framework to better understand. the concept and to see if it only applies within the workplace or across their lives. Now I've gotten a bunch of questions. I can't answer all of them. So today I'm picking two to do a little bit of a deep dive into. The first question I got that I thought was fascinating and I think it applies to most people or at least most people can relate to it across the world. I got a question around new year resolutions. Basically someone was asking how they can better apply identity, context, and power clarity to how they make their new year resolutions so they can ensure that they actually stick with it for the rest of the year. Now, I cannot promise that this would ensure you do so, but I think it will provide you some type of clarity to understand what is within your power, what you're able to do, and then see how you can best optimize for the outcome that you want. So let's get into it. So every January, millions of people set goals that fail by February. It's not because they lack discipline. It's really because I think they have identity clarity but no context or power clarity. So let's imagine this setup, looking at identity clarity. People know exactly what they want. It could be lose 20 pounds, write that book, get promoted, launch the side business. You know, they have clear goals, they have strong intentions, that's identity clarity. Now the gap usually comes around context clarity because sometimes they might ignore the actual terrain of their lives. So you wanna work out at 6 a.m., but you're not a morning person and you never have been. You want to write daily but you have a two-hour commute and two young kids. You want to get promoted but your company hasn't promoted anyone in your department in three years. You want to launch a business you're in survival mode financially. goal is clear but the context doesn't support it and context always wins so the gap is power clarity and this is because people with goals often misread what they can actually control for example you can control showing up to the gym You can't control your metabolism or how fast results appear. You can control at least when you're doing it the healthy way. You can control pitching your work. You can't control whether your boss advocates for your promotion. You can control your efforts. You can't control whether your partner supports the 10 p.m. sessions your side business requires. You're setting goals that require other people's cooperation, resources that you don't have, or systems that you can't change. That's not a goal. That's a wish. So let's reframe a little bit. Goals with all three clarities look different. So. Let's think of identity clarity. I want to get stronger is the identity. The context is I'm not a morning person, but I have 30 minutes at lunch. Power is I control showing up. don't control how fast I see results. So I will measure consistency, not outcomes. So if we look at identity, for the other example, identity is I want to write. The context is I have young kids and no uninterrupted time. Power. clarity allows us to articulate that I can't create more time, but I can control 15 minutes before bed I'll measure pages written rather than books finished. And I can tell you in terms of book writing, I am now at the period in my life where I am writing two books simultaneously. I'm writing a book now for this framework and an auto fiction for another book, which is kind of insane that I'm doing two things at once. but I started writing this book the three clarity's framework seven years ago and now headway because now I have the identity, the context and the power clarity that allows me to map out the time to do what it is that I want to do. So the context is so important right and essentially for the past six years I've been having kids I have two but they're little kids. Now I finally have a bit of breathing space to write very early in the morning or late at night before they wake up or after they go to bed. So if we take the other case, I want to grow my career. The context is that my company doesn't promote internally. And the power clarity comes with us acknowledging that I can't change my company's policy, but I can control building my network and exploring external opportunities. So it's really about being able to tell yourself the truth. in my opinion, an insight you should take away from this example is that most people fail at goals because they only do the first clarity. They know what they want. but they don't read the terrain, which is the context, or they don't understand what they can actually influence or what they can actually move. And that requires power clarity. So oftentimes what happens is they set goals that sound good, but have no chance of surviving contact with their actual life. The thing about the three clarities is that... they don't make goals easier. They just make them real. They make them honest. So with 2026 coming, before you set your goals, ask yourself, what do I want? What do I actually want? That is the identity clarity. What is the terrain of my actual life? What is the context? What is achievable? What is not? What does my life actually allow? That is the context. And then what can I actually control? What can I What is within my power? And that is the power clarity. The goals that survive all three questions are the ones that you should pursue. They are the ones that you will probably succeed at achieving. So here's scenario one, around how to better think about, you know, New Year resolutions within identity, context, and power clarity. the second theme I want to talk about is power clarity within the construct of launching Qi Jie. my new lifestyle company where we produce products that are meaningful, us with our daily rituals, as token of presence and remembrance and intentionality. So what this basically means is that we're intentional about the products that we make and that we ensure that they are good for you. So if you use candles, for example, as a token of presence, that you're not burning paraffin or crap. that is bad for you, that you are actually. Holding yourself with products that are natural plant-based and good for you So I got a question around you know, ChiJay has taught me about power clarity um And if you've been following along you might know that on November 20, just a few weeks ago. I very quietly soft launch ChiJay. I imagine that the hard lunch is coming, but I really wanted to do the soft lunch so I can test it, I can improve, because this is my first time running a product-based company. I have previously only run service-based company, and I know that product-based companies come with so much more constraints and moving parts, so I wanted a soft lunch to test, to learn, to make mistakes, and I've been testing, I've been learning, I've been making mistakes for sure, right? But Chi-Jay, have carried in my heart for decades and so finally it's arriving into the world and finally I'm beginning to test it. Launching a product business after years of running a service business taught me something I thought I already knew. Power Clarity. So today I want to talk about what I've learned, what I'm learning, and why understanding what you can't control might be more important than actually understanding what you can. Or maybe just as important as understanding what you can control and what you cannot control. So. Here's what I didn't expect. Let's take Diversify, my nonprofit organization, for example. I have a lot of control. If a client needs something, I can build it. If my community wants a specific program designed, I can articulate, implement, and co-create it with them. If a workshop isn't landing, I can adjust in real time. If someone needs a different approach, I can shift. So my work at Diversify, responsive, it's adaptive. My power is in my ability to respond in real time. With Qi Jie, I have almost no control once the product is made. Whereas with Diversify, I can adapt and tweak the product in real time. So let's take the candle. natural, sustainable, 100 % plant-based candles are part of our initial product launch. More products are coming, but we started with candles. A candle is what it is. the aroma, the essential oil, the scent, it's what it is. I cannot adjust the product mid experience. I can't change the burn time because someone wishes it lasted longer. I cannot remake the wax composition because someone prefers a different texture. The power is the decision I make before the product reaches my customer, before it reaches their hands. And after that, I'm just watching. The best I can get is feedback. the power clarity lesson. knowing where your influence ends. In a service business, I see a lot of people think that they have more control than they did. So for example, it might look like overworking trying to make every client outcome perfect, forgetting that we cannot control their internal politics. We cannot control their budget cuts. We cannot control their leadership changes. In a product-based business, we have to accept the limits upfront. I can control the quality of the wax. I can control the intentionality of the scent. I can control the care in the craftsmanship, but I cannot control how someone experiences it in their space, what memories it brings up, whether it fits with their aesthetics. That is their decision to make. So for me, trying to control that will be forcing clarity that I don't have. And so separating where I have power and where my power begins and ends has been so clarifying and it's made me better. businesses. So what does this mean for you? A lot of people, a lot of leaders that I work with are exhausting themselves trying to control things they simply cannot. You cannot control whether your team adopts your strategy with full buy-in. They might still implement that strategy because of your positional power. You cannot control whether the market rewards your innovation. You cannot control whether your boss advocates for your promotion. You cannot control whether your ideas get funded. What you can control is the clarity of your strategy, the quality of your work, how you position yourself, how you pitch the idea. Power clarity isn't about doing more. It's about putting your energy in the right place. So here's a diagnostic questions that I ask myself now for both Diversify and QiJie. What am I trying to control that I actually cannot? That honesty has been amazing for my work. For me, as someone who likes to perfect everything, I had to unlearn that I am able to predict every possible customer preference because I can't. I can only make something true to the vision and trust that it will find the people it is meant for. For Diversify, it was understanding that I cannot necessarily make every client's relationship work. Some clients aren't ready, some organizations aren't aligned. I cannot change that. I can only show up with full integrity and then let the fit reveal itself. So once I stopped spending my energy on what I couldn't control, I had so much more energy for what I could. So here's what I want you to take with you. Power clarity isn't about being in control. It's about knowing where your control ends and making peace with that. It's the difference between exhausting yourself trying to change everything and focusing your energy where it actually matters. So whether you're building a company, leading a team, or just trying to move something forward, ask yourself. What am I trying to control that I can't? And then let it go or adapt to find a different context that works for you. So put your energy where it belongs. Are you in a toxic workplace and you're trying to change it, but that workplace is not optimized for change? You might then have to have the hard conversation with yourself. I'm not able to change this toxicity, but maybe I can remove myself if I have the privilege to do so. from that situation. So put your energy where it belongs. And yeah, with that, I think that is the end of this mini episode. Thank you for listening. for being here. If you have more questions, I'd love to hear them. If you have more insights, please shoot me a message And if you are curious about Qi Jie and want to see what I've been building, you can explore our current collection at qijie.com. is C-H-I-I-J-E.com. And if this resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it and yeah looking forward to talking to you soon Thank you for spending time with us on Overnight Wisdom. If this conversation moved you, inspired you, or made you pause, please like, leave a comment, or share it with someone who needs to hear it. You can follow the show wherever you get your podcasts, and if you're feeling generous, a rating, or review, goes a long way in helping others find us too. Until next time, stay curious, stay tender, and may the wisdom you need find you exactly when you're ready.